Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
this boner is exhausting
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
