i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
