my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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