It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
