$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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