Don't make out with my wife yet
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I need to sanitize my soul.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
