im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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