Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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