Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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