I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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