I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
