Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
