spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
