well you can't waste a boner
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
