The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
