just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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