In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
