i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He did a backflip because drugs
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
