I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Houston, we have a squirter
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize