Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I see more hoeing in ur future
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
