hell yes lets make some ravioli
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
ttyl tear gas
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
