Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
