as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
