But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
