My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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