Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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