And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
