yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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