I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
