i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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