I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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