VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We were destined to go to rehab together
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
