apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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