Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
