At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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