What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
