chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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