I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I am naked and annoyed.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize