dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
