these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
