i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
