It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
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he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
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I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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