I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
