wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
