I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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