come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
