I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
