At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
