you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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