so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
