I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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