butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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