i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....