Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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