were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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