This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
