What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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