Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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