I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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