Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Do you remember whose house we're in?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I enjoy the company of your penis
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
