butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
